More Preparations

The day before a Papen Party is always a bit tense...I usually forget to eat, I ALWAYS burn or at least ruin one of the recipes, and I'm usually running around like a chicken with my head cut off while trying to prepare as well as take care of all the other day-to-day stuff that still needs to get done.  There ALWAYS comes a point when I'm just plain ol' DONE.  For me, that moment arrived at the exact moment I was just beginning to have a meltdown because my bloodshot eyeball cupcakes weren't working out quite as I had hoped they would.  Jeffrey literally was standing over me saying, "Less is more, Melissa, less is more." When...

*ting-a-ling...ting-a-ling*

Oh! A text from my cousin Sarah - she's always super encouraging and is one of my biggest fans, this will pick me up!!!

"Finished. OMG," it read.

I stared at the text as the attached image appeared.....perfectly identifiable BLOODSHOT EYE cupcakes. Caught between wanting to cry and being incredibly impressed and proud of her, I simply looked at my brother Jake who had come to visit and swore.  Then I politely responded, 

"They're awesome.  Mine look like a**"

I tried to upload the photo that she text messaged me, but couldn't figure out how to do it...she also made some adorable little spider cookies.  They're so cool, Sarah!!!!  I eventually figured out how to make them look halfway like hers...I think the problem is that the lifesavers are the wrong color! :-)

While Ellie spent most of the day with Nana Lorena playing in the living room, I, as I'm sure you guessed, spent most of the day cooking and baking in the kitchen.  I did manage to sneak out for an hour or so to get my eyebrows waxed and tinted...and OH MY GODDDDDDD!!!!! I just this second realized that I didn't leave Emily a tip.  We were chatting away, and I just signed and handed the receipt over. Shit. What am I supposed to do? Oh man, that is soooooo incredibly embarrassing.  Ok, I'll go see if I can't find her on Facebook and send her a note saying I'll fix it...that will at least alleviate some of my guilt, though I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep. Crap. That's mortifying!!!! UGH.

ANYWAY, after that, I headed over to the middle school to pick up my sous chef -- Teacher Kelley's daughter Annelyse.  She came for a couple hours after school to help decorate cupcakes.  She's such an awesome girl...she's pretty, smart, mature, and funny.  I loved having her around, though I'm not so sure she'll ever want to come back...I was completely disorganized...in fact, I kept getting so distracted that I had to throwout one particular dessert recipe FOUR times...the fifth time finally worked...yeah, I know: I should have given up after burning the damn custard a second time, but I persevered. Indeed, Irish Cream Three-Ways will be served tomorrow evening.  Everyone had better LOVE THEM! 

Annelyse making the marshmallow skulls for the chocolate cupcakes

Jake arrived at about 6 pm to hang out, visit, and stay the night.  He's always so much fun to have around.  He and Jeffrey had me laughing so hard, and it was nice to just enjoy each others' company.  He loves to play with Ellie, and she just adores him!

Reading her book upside down!

The evening wound down slowly, with Jeffrey helping me out setting up the table for the bar, hanging last minute decorations, and sealing all the desserts...I didn't get around to photographing everything I made today, but here are a few:

Heating frosting until it's runny and then dipping the cakes into it (rather than "spreading") gives a clean, smooth finish

These will be tombstones

Coffin Brownies

Raspberry Crumble Bars

So there we have it.  One more day down.  I'm pretty darn positive that there will be no blog postings tomorrow.  Though I may see if I can't post some photos of the decor earlier in the day.  I need to photograph everything anyway!  For now, I'm off to sleep...or, at least, to TRY to sleep........I can't believe I didn't tip Emily!!!!!

RANDOM PHOTOS OF THE DAY

She's such a big girl!

The girl knows the right position for reading! 

2 More Days!

Must......stay..................awake...............................zzzzzzzzzzzzz... I tell you what -- I'm ready to put my feet up, lay my head against something, ice my wounded leg, have a good deep back massage, and just think about NOTHING.  I don't want to read. I don't want to browse the internet. I don't even want to sit by a fire with a cup of hot cocoa.  No. I just want to close my eyes and drift off into peaceful sleep! That, however, isn't going to happen simply because I know I'll lay in bed, thinking about everything that I did today, what I need to do tomorrow, and what still needs to happen for Friday.

Productive, non-stop, and creative describe today perfectly.  I woke early to the sound of Boots and Jax howling and baying in the kitchen. Worried they'd wake EG before she was ready, I jumped out of bed, and ran to the other side of the house...looking out the glass door in the kitchen I saw three deer meandering along the side of the house, oblivious to the beagle who was about to pop a vocal cord because of their presence!  I quickly silenced the dogs, but knew that getting back to sleep would be impossible, so I just decided to go ahead and get my day started!

I love that on my way to feed the horses every morning, I have to drive across our dam -- inevitably the view is just magnificent!!!!!

It was definitely the coldest morning we've had this month...

But, man, is this beautiful!

After picking up Victor and Lorena, Ellie Graye and I dropped them off at the house and headed to the Vet's office to get paperwork printed up so I could actually SEE what my charges were.  I swear, the amount I pay them each month is more than I ever paid for rent in Los Angeles!!!! It's INSANE -- and not because they charge an arm and a leg, but because my damn animals are just constantly having issues...

As I stood there at the front desk going over all the charts with Jennifer, Leah took Ellie Graye to the back (I'm assuming to see animals or vets or something).  I was able to concentrate on what I was doing, and EG was entertained!  Jennifer had to remind me what several visits were...

ME: "What the heck did Jax come in for on September 28?!?!?"

JENNIFER: "Um. Let's see. Well, the chart says Dr. Fisher checked her tail after you slammed it in the hatchback of your car."

ME: "Oh. Right. That."

ME: "But this can't be right - it's only a couple days earlier."

JENNIFER: "Yeah, that was when Jax got her stitches in her front leg after chasing the deer a mile and a half up the road."

ME: "What's THIS???"

JENNIFER: "That? That's Boots' monthly anal gland infection."

Seriously, Dr. Fisher's kids must have a herd of horses by now - God knows I've given him enough money to pay for at least 10!  Anyway, a few minutes later, Leah came back with Ellie Graye, and we finished up.  As I picked my darling little girl up, I noticed a dark, chocolate looking thing in her hand.

"What's THIS, Leah? A chocolate covered cookie???? Ellie's never had a cookie, let alone chocolate!!!"

I looked at my 15 month old, chocolate melting all over her hands and jacket, and thought , "What the heck."

"Put it in your mouth, Graye."

It took a second for her to register the taste and then a HUGE smile broke out on her face, her eyes lit up, and she started signing "Thank you, thank you."  All the while, she held that chocolate cookie up to her lips.  It was one of those genuinely happy moments that children experience from the simplest things!  All of us in the lobby burst into laughter.  She didn't finish the cookie.  She took a bite or two, then handed it back to me and asked for water...which I was beyond happy about!  Ellie's first chocolate cookie is definitely a memory that I'll keep forever.

Frank seems to be doing much better.  The swelling is still there, but will go away soon, I'm sure.  At least he seems like he's putting on weight, is moving better, and is in much better spirits...in fact, his "hand walks" are more like "body walks" - it takes my entire body to keep him in check.  He's so freaking hyper right now!  If I let him, he'd tear around on the lunge line like a mad man!

The rest of the day was spent baking and decorating and working on things that needed to get done...including decorating the entry to our driveway...

Left side....

Right Side...

Victor got into the spirit of things - he brought a few bales of hay to the entry way, decorated them with the rest of our homegrown pumpkins, and even created his own little scary dead guy and hung him from a tree!  It was quite a surprise to see him getting so creative!

Victor's creation...

In the kitchen, I managed to make the Skull Ice Forms (they're so freaking cool), Candy Apple Cakes (with apples from our neighbors' trees), Rosemary Marinated Mozzarella bites, Plain Scones, Orange Cranberry Scones, Stewed Beef Phyllo Rolls, and Deer Park Farms Berry Cheesecake Bars (with my homemade blackberry-syrah jam and blueberries from the garden).  I think we might have enough food. Just MAYBE.

Ok, so fine, I stole a corner of the Cheesecake Bars!

Plain scones (I'll serve with Blackberry Jam and Cream) and Candy Apple Cakes

Candy Apple Cakes finished with Homemade Caramel

After taking Lorena and Victor home, Ellie took a long bath and then we played in the kitchen while we waited for daddy to arrive from the airport.  Yep, Jeffrey is be able to work from here the rest of the week, so we'll have lots of family time over the next few days!  It's so incredibly nice to have him around!

When I say "long bath," I mean an HOUR. Seriously, this child loves water

Trying to climb into her chair by herself!

Daddy rocking and spending time with his baby girl before going to sleep...

Tomorrow will be another full day of preparations...I'm so excited (is there something wrong with me that I LOVE this stuff????).  TWO MORE DAYS!!!!!!

Breathing

When I think back on the hours that made up today, I take a deep breath and calmly repeat, "BREATHE, DAMN IT!!!!! BREATHE!" I try again..."CALM THE HELL DOWN! BREATHE!"  I try once more, fail again, and then just say, "Aww, screw it. At least it's over."  Here's the thing.  I realize that my path will not always be the path that others agree with, approve of, or can even tolerate.  But, put that mushy stuff aside for two seconds and let me vent: I freaking HATE the feeling that boils up inside me when someone questions the dedication that I have to my daughter...  "Be sure she's not just an item on your to do list" was the general statement.  A TO-DO list?!?!? MY little girl?!?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?  While I understand that this person has years of "experience" with children, I was so hurt by the assumption that because I have chosen to live a life that is fulfilling to both Ellie Graye and me, that I'm putting her in the fast lane.  I live on a farm - HELLO!  I love growing, learning, and developing the person I am, the mother I am...but the manner in which the message was delivered was just plain hurtful.  You can rock and sing your child to sleep every night, but the next morning destroy any sense of security, love, stability and safety in one simple sentence.  THAT my friends is the parenting insight I'm taking with me from today.  I hope to process this in a manner that will stay with me...because, boy, oh boy, it SUCKS to be on the other side of hurtful words.

Despite the yucky feeling that seemed to have taken up residence in my belly for the day, it was awesome to see so many of my friends speak up in the discussion on "sleep training" (that's what instigated the whole commotion in the first place).  Many of the Facebook moms put in their two cents, and, while not all of our choices for feeding, sleeping, and child-rearing have been the same, the openness that everyone showed was really astounding.   The "advice" that came in the form of their own personal experiences was such a breath of fresh air, and there seemed to be a general feeling of camaraderie that I'm not sure I had yet felt with other mothers.   Whatever our weaknesses in parenting are (which I'm sure there are plenty), there is strength together - thank you, friends, for encouraging me to not second guess myself, to listen to my own heart, and to stay strong on the path I have chosen!

Phew. That's done.  NOW I can take a deep breath.  That's the beauty of writing, isn't it!  It's so cleansing!

Frank is doing better today, I think.  He's urinating regularly, eating regularly, and drinking regularly.  His manure is still funky, and his legs, sheath and belly still swollen, but those would logically be the last to get better.  We've got no idea what it is, so I'm just hoping for the best.

They're smaller than they were!

The edema under his belly

A closer look

The rain kept me inside most of the day, but I still went out to give Frankie his medicine, and do a once-over to be sure he hadn't taken a turn for the worse.  Since it was pouring rain, I decided that it'd be fine to check him in his stall...what I failed to think through was that Avdou does NOT like it when I give Frank attention and not him...so, as I was bending down feeling Frank's hind legs, Avdou took a good, strong bite of his ass. Frank went flying, I went flying, and Avdou, after seeing the look in my eye, went flying.  Frank, being the horse that he is, attempted to avoid stepping on me, and while he didn't crush me beneath his feet, he did manage to nail my knee and my thigh with some part of his body.  No idea what body part hit what, but lord almighty, I've got bruises everywhere and a big ol' lump on my head that just appeared out of no where! Oh, the joys of farm life!

SOOOOOOO...just because I didn't have enough going on today, I continued preparing for Friday's Halloween party.  I added to the decorations in the living room, made ID tags for appetizers, made the ID tag holders (which are mighty creative, if I do say so myself), made the bread bowls for Jeffrey's Hannibal Lecter heads, prepped the blackberry/thyme juice for the margaritas, and racked my brain to figure out what else to make for hor d'oeuvres!

Infusing the vodka with Jalepeno Peppers for the SexyWoman Punch

Hannibal Lecter Bread Bowls

Straining blackberries for the Blackberry-Thyme Margaritas

My clever name tag holders 

(plastic skeleton hands from Dollar Tree, wine corks from our bar)

So, now it's late, and I'm tired, and tomorrow I have more of the same...and in the words of Anne Shirley, "Tomorrow is always fresh and new with no mistakes in it."  *boy, I quote her more than I quote the Bible!* 

RANDOM PHOTO OF THE DAY

Ellie told me she wanted to go swimming a second time today...

she even went and got her swim suit!!!

Halloween is Almost Here!

The Papen household is bustling with activity this week!  We're having our first Deer Park Farms Halloween Bash on Friday night, and everyone is in high gear preparing for the big night!  The doorway is decorated, the mantle adorned, and little touches can be found everywhere...but, most importantly, the smells of the holidays are wafting from the kitchen!

The weekend flew by in a flash.  Saturday it was just me and Ellie Graye until late afternoon when Jeffrey arrived from his long drive from California with the Mercedes.  We spent lots of time checking on Frankie, playing and even headed to buy some boots for EG (she picked out an adorable pair)!

My brothers came over in the evening and tasted my Tomato Sage Soup and grilled cheese after taking a nice walk around the property in the crisp fall air.  I LOVE that they come visit so frequently - it really always makes my day brighter.

Uncle Jake and Ellie - same style of eating! :-)

Uncle Colin helping out

Boots is REALLY keeping his eye on that food!

Sunday was a slow day...Jeffrey helped out so much both with Ellie and in the kitchen!!!  Being a family really is an incredible experience...at times I'm a total pain in the ass when Jeffrey comes home, and he still is patient and loving.  I'm used to things being done my way, in my time, and to my liking, and adjusting to having him back can be a bit tricky.  In all honesty, he tries so damn hard not to disturb our routine, but I'm not always so great at communicating what our routine IS!  I'm working on that part!  He is incredibly helpful - I just have to tell him what I need, and not assume that he can read my mind - he can't!!!! Sigh.  The joys of relationships!  I'm learning - slowly, but surely!

my babies hanging with Daddy!

Daddy helping EG with her toy Wok

Jeffrey making spider toothpicks...

Yep, I told you he'd do almost anything I asked!

I spent Sunday afternoon in the kitchen baking and baking and baking and baking...I, of course, made my famous Sugar Cookies (no event would be complete without them), but I cheated this time...instead of making my own royal icing, I decided to use Wilton's.  It's much easier and faster - though I have to admit, I feel like I cheated!  I'm so glad that Mari over at Once Upon A Plate introduced me to the joy of cookie painting through her blog!

Jeffrey and I put our heads together to figure out a creative way to serve my Pulled Chicken...he brilliantly thought of Hannibal Lecter heads...these are going to be such a hit!

We used edible marker pens to draw the faces!

The absolute highlight of the weekend, however, was Sunday evening.  Grandma Lene has been excitedly waiting for an opportunity to have Ellie Graye overnight...and Jeffrey and I have been chomping at the bit to have a night sans little one to celebrate our 3 years of marriage. So, late afternoon found us packing bags, and heading to Grandma and Grandpa Ed's.  Mom needed to do a fitting for Jeffrey's costume, so after a quick try-on, Jeffrey and I said our good-byes to our beautiful little girl (who couldn't care less that her parents were leaving her - she's obsessed with her Grandpa Ed and Cassie, their dog!).

After I had had a quick shower and even managed to put on some make-up, husband and wife headed over to Newberg for an amazing dinner at the Painted Lady.  It wasn't exactly what we had expected, but it did not disappoint in the least bit.  Even with a fixed menu, both Jeffrey and I were able to order different items and had a true taste of all the restaurant had to offer.  If ever you find yourself in wine country, a visit to this restaurant is an absolute must!  Unfortunately, Jeffrey had to leave this morning at 5:30, so we kept it an early night.

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Mondays are always a bit challenging - especially when I have to say good bye to Jeffrey.  It was nice, however, to wake up at my own speed, lounging a bit before slowly putting on my comfy-cozy sweatshirt, making some coffee, then feeding the dogs.  No screaming baby.  No need to pull out the pans and start cooking.  No chasing anyone around.  Aaaah, the good ol' days...nice to revisit, but I DID miss that little blond, blue-eyed cutie-patootie.

Heading out to feed the horses, it was cold and rainy.  I don't really mind the rain, but man, oh man, the horses love it.  They obviously had been standing outside in their runs for quite some time, because both of them were completely soaked.  Frank's swelling hasn't gone down at all, and in fact, now his two front legs have pretty good size edema.  His belly had gone down a bit yesterday, but the spot where all the fluids had collected had grown, and his sheath was massive.  He did eat over night, which is good, but I still am worried sick about him.  He just isn't right.  The shape of his manure has changed in the last few days, and is smelling terribly (I know, I know, not something you necessarily want to know).  Dr. Fisher isn't sure what to do at this point...the good news is that he started urinating normally.  Maybe this whole thing will just fix itself.  Not sure what else to do for the damn horse.

Picked up EG at Grandma Lene's house, and then we all headed out to swim class.  Mom was amazed to see that Ellie can dive to the bottom of the pool, pick up rings, and bring them back to the surface.  As much as I am an advocate of infant swim, I think I sometimes lose perspective on what "normal" is.  I'd venture to bet that 99% of my readers have never seen a 15 month old child dive to the bottom of the pool, swim back up, and ask to do it again!  It's funny how the awe goes away...it takes more and more to impress me, I guess! :-)  I can't imagine what it must take to impress Kelley at SwimBabes!

 For those of you who haven't seen this yet, it's Ellie Graye at 13+ months:

ellieSwim from jake carvey on Vimeo.

The rest of the day I spent.......well....take a wild guess......yep, BAKING!  I made cupcakes, coffin brownies, roasted pumpkins and then made pumpkin pie bread (from our pumpkins), as well as painted more of those cookies that I have pictured above.  Tomorrow will be more of the same...swimming, decorating and baking! :-)

starting to cut the coffin brownies

using a frosting dispenser to put batter in the mini cupcake pan...sooooo much easier!

Mini loaf of pumpkin pie bread (recipe to come)

So here's to a new week -- and to hoping I have a moment to rest!!!!